God, what a crappy day. Dx

My day started out with me not feeling well. I slept until I HAD to get up, around 9:30, and moaned and groaned around until I got everything together and left. I think I'm having emotional backlash from yesterday's therapy, cause my emotions have been SHIT today.

I ate a crap-load of McDonalds before work, which made me feel better as long as I was eating, but then made me feel even worse emotionally after I finished the last bite.

I went into work, and a bigwig came in and changed something stupid, so all day I felt like I was in the way/annoying/not doing anything. I did what I could, but there was enough help without me there, and there's just so many things to do over there.

I got to talk to one of my friends at work... that was fun. He's one of the guys I miss from up front. Joe* is about as southern as you can get, and while this would usually make me retch, it's just him. It would be weird for him to be any other way, really.

Spanko List

Seeeeveral, several months ago in fet, I found a forum that asked "What is your spanko list?" Or something of the sort. I hadn't really thought about my answers to said question until last night D and I were talking and he brought up one of them.

I remember thinking at the time that I should do a blog post about mine, therefore I could come back and add on to it when something else sparked my fancy/I actually did something on the list.

I have a love/hate thing going on with the list I am about to put down. See, when I write it down, it is still just an idea. Once D sees it and thinks it sounds like a fun thing to do, it no longer is just an idea, it becomes reality... fast.

It's pretty much the same paradox about being a submissive and being... well... me. Yes, I want to be spanked, I want all these horrible things... but on MY time. But then of course, I don't actually want it when I want it all the time, cause that takes the fun away from being made to do something I don't want to. GAH CONFUSING SELF.

Back to Normal

So, D and I finally got together and were able to figure out what the fuck was going on in his head, and what was going on in my head enough to figure out why the other person was so confused.

Anywho, things are thankfully back to normal, and I'm not being emotional for no reason. :D

So lately I've been having these weird flashback sort of things that make me feel like I'm going to throw up. They are very unpleasant, and come up at the WORST times. I just had it happen while I was requesting the weekend after next off, so I could go see D. Good thing my stomach was empty, or I'd be cleaning up some mess right about now.

But yeah, so D and I are back in good-standing which makes me a very happy Megyn.

Contemplative

So D and I just had a pretty interesting conversation, and while I'm not a fan of airing out dirty laundry to society at large, I'm going to just let my thoughts conjure into sentences on this certain blog. Feel free to disregard and ignore if you must.

Thank you.

Soo, anyways... back to the conversation.

Things were fine, just like normal convo. I was telling him about Hustler and their assortment of leather implements and the like, which turned into a convo about if we would ever be able to spend more than one friggin night together. Then it took a surprising turn when D started talking about how the relationship is probably not going to work out in the long run.

While this may be true, I mean... anything could be true under the right circumstances, and I can see where he's coming from with us being so far apart, I still don't agree. I mean obviously if both parties aren't trying to make it work, it won't; but I don't think the distance thing should weigh in that much. It seems to really bother D, and while it DOES bother me a lot, I think it may bother him more? I don't know, I'm not in his head.

Waking up

This morning I have been engrossed in thinking about the conversation D and I shared last night before I was so unceremoniously sent to bed. :p

Dude, last night I felt like a little girl half the time. I mean, not in a bad way... it was interesting, to say the least.

I swear, just as I start to figure D out, he pulls another punch, and I love it all over again.

GAWWWW I have to friggin cut down FOUR stupid bamboo things!

~MIFF~

AANNNDDD he told me that I'd "better not forget them" cause the hiding I'd get from them wouldn't be shit for what I'd get if I didn't bring them. AAANNNDDDD he used "do as you're told" which makes me melt at the same time that it makes me want to buck against it with a fervor.

Long Time No See ;)

Wow, so tonight I was able to talk to D again. It was fantastic.

He was out of town for about 4 days, then it took another 2 days for me to finally catch him awake/at home. Sure, only 6 days, but when you're used to talking to someone every day, anything more than a day or so seems like forever.

Anyways. I called him last night, and also got to talk to him tonight, and it reminded me just how much I sincerely enjoy talking to him. I have a short term memory, don't judge lol.

Anywho, so we got to talk and it was amazing. Wull... other than the fact that I found out just how in trouble I am already. I had forgotten about 2 things I did (went negative in bank account and lost meds) so I didn't think I was in all that much trouble.

I told him yesterday about a couple times I was late to work. He's big about that kind of stuff. One day I was apparently 3 hours late, but I don't remember it. I think it was one day that I didn't know I worked? I almost remember already being at dinner when I got the frantic call that I as supposed to work, but I really don't remember when it was that I was a whole 3 hours late.