Lectures

So, it's been a little bit since I've blogged, so I thought I would hop right in with some more ramblings from teh Megyn!

This is a subject I've had rolling around in my head here lately since there have been discussions going along in fetlife about lectures/being scolded.

Personally, it takes absolutely nothing to make me feel guilty. I fall for guilt trips all the time, and I know I do this, although just that knowledge alone helps nothing. So, at first whoever is scolding me makes me feel terrible for whatever it was that I did.

But like I stated... "at first"

After the initial guiltiness passes I just get pissed that the scolding/lecture is still going on. This is especially true when it comes to when the person is basically repeating something he/she has ALREADY said or if he/she says something along the lines of "don't you know better than that?"

Pisses. Me. Off.

Apparently I DON'T know better than that, cause I did it!! GRAWR!

Anywho... Like I was getting at earlier, it takes someone that has mad skillz yo, to actually keep me in the right headspace the entire time.

I know the few times D has scolded me recently, I felt like complete shit while he lectured. There was no anger or impatience or anything but me feeling horrible for making him unhappy with me.

I don't cry when it comes to physical pain, but I cry easily when it comes to psychological/emotional pain. Knowing I've made someone unhappy to the point of feeling that he has to punish me, and being reminded as such, would bring me muuuuuch closer to crying than just the physical punishment itself.

I've been beat HARD for a LONG time and still not cry, but I tear up if I think someone is genuinely displeased with me.

Weirdo I am.

The one thing that makes me feel in trouble is the use of my middle name being used. Nothing makes me back-peddle like hearing a stern "Megyn Rae!" after something I've said/done.

Being called little girl, girl, or young lady also work when scolding me, but the use of my middle name is sacred! 0.0 It can't be overused, since then it would lose it's power, but a "Megyn Rae" here and there when I'm being a bit... too much, will usually make me behave.

But anywayz, I think I'm going to put my shovel back up and go to sleep. I haz teh sleepehz!! Gnight! :D