Excitement

So who can't wait for next weekend?

ME!

I am TOTALLY stoked about next Friday that I can hardly stand it. It's officially official that D is coming into town next Friday and I am just about to explode from excitement!

I was thinking at work today about the bitter-sweet that is him coming to see me. The sweet part is the simple fact that I get to see him both Friday AND Saturday and I get to hang with him and actually SEE him instead of just hearing him over the phone.

The part that makes the whole thing have a bitter quality, is the fact that I'm going to be punished. :\

See, last time I wasn't able to get into the right head-space to see the whole shindig as punishment as much as just getting a really bad whuppin. This time I don't think that will be the case. I am not trying to show him how tough I am, or how high my pain tolerance is, because he already knows.

Plus, if there is any lecturing whatsoever I will completely feel like poop.

Meh, that's what I get for actually giving a damn about whether or not he is pleased with me.

And besides all the emotional crap, it's gonna HURT. I have 270 swats headed my way, not including hand, and 90 split up between the belt, the bath brush, and the damn paddle.

I am -quite literally- going to die.

AND! He is going to be focusing on the sit spot! D': OW

I really hate that he is having to punish me, and as much as I'm excited about seeing him, I'm dreading the punishment portion. I'm a spanko, don't get me wrong. I like pain and getting spanked when everything is kosher, but this time it's just different and I already feel bad about it.

Ugh.