PMS

So I've been craving random shit for like the past week. I never crave sweet things... it is very rare that I wake up in the middle of the night and the first thought that crosses my mind is "I need something sweet... NOW". I've had this craving as well as Chinese food (which isn't all that rare, actually).

Today, though, the regular PMS symptoms came to head. I realised at work just how much I hate being told what to do by people not in charge of me. When my hormones are at normal levels and I'm not fighting the urge to scream at my coworkers, I can usually just grin and bear it; today, on the other hand, I about chewed Buffalo* out.

I was bagging and it was windy, cold, and raining outside. On a normal day, I love this kind of weather. I love going out and walking in the rain and laughing and having a blast. Today I woke up chilly so wind/cold was no bueno... as well as cold+rain+wind= freezing to death.

I was bagging an order when Buffalo comes up and tells me to go get carts from the parking lot. The words I wanted to say to him would have not been work appropriate so I held my tongue, took a step backward, saluted, and replied "Yes, sir!" about as sarcastic and cutting as I could make it as I turned to go out the door. And the only reason I went out when he told me to was because it was my cart hour and had I stayed inside I would have ended up saying something I would have never regretted... but would have been repremanded for.

The whole ordeal made me wonder why the heck I claim to be a sub when I'm obviously not submissive to people, not to mention the fact that I fight every rule laid out for me. UGH UGH UGH.

........

I am a sub... this I am certain. It's just when someone who has not earned the privilege of my submission tries to tell me what to do or "what's what" my heels dig in so deep you can barely see my knees.

D should feel special, I don't rebel against him, I simply test the boundaries lol.


* nickname given to protect the guilty