Sleepy Time

I either do two things when I'm anxious. I either clean.. or sleep. Today was a sleepy anxious day, apparently.

We didn't end up cleaning all day cause Jo was tired and didn't feel like going through all the crap that she'd have to go through to clean up the living room/dining room.

I didn't argue.

I slept for a few more hours, ate lunch, slept again, woke up a little bit when Dad and Jo went to dinner, slept more, then woke up around 8 and ate dinner and got up to take a shower.

Unproductive. Day. For. The. Win.

But yeah, so before I go to bed tonight I'll be straightening my room. I don't need any more punishment than I already have coming to me...

I'm not going to lie, I don't know if I believe that he's coming this weekend. I have a problem of thinking the worst thing possible in every situation. I am sensitive to rejection, and I can see it in any situation at hand. I'm still excited about tomorrow, don't get me wrong. I sincerely hope D shows up, cause if he doesn't I won't trust he'll ever come lol.

This is one thing that really hinders my ability to get close to people. I don't like it in myself, but sometimes it keeps me from being the person that gets hurt in certain situations. It's a "I'd rather hurt, than be hurt" kind of thing.

Tomorrow will be great, we're planning on meeting up at one of my favorite book stores around noon or so. It takes him 5 and a half hours to get to where we're meeting, so that's why it's going to be later in the day. I'll be waking up around 9 or so to "get ready for work" and go get my car cleaned and shit around the area we're meeting up.

I'm 19, but my parents are really protective, which i appreciate... but dislike immensely in the same instance. I know they love me, but they need to chill a little.

Wish me luck!!